Posted a piece about my family life and did my best to confine it within such. Here's I'll be describing my early life outside the home.
My father said I was 'perfectly normal' until the point where I immediately had difficulty getting along with other kids. Being born with (undiagnosed for decades) Asperger's, my yardmates quickly found it great fun by teasing me until I 'lose it' and then I got scapegoated for starting the trouble in the 1st place. Don't have much recall before kindergarten but do remember being unpopular and mainly only desired for comic effect or another kid to get their jollies from, vent their frustrations on (Psych problems begin early in dysfunctional families, more common than believed) or, usually both a the same time.
The teasing was relentless and even some teachers thought I was a born trouble-maker. In grade school, this was bad enough (know now that I had clinical depression by Grade 6) but when I was placed into an all-male Catholic school, I had no say in this matter, Mom thought it would be 'better for my sister & I'.
The very 1st week I was there, got raped by a couple of seniors in the change room, even though I still have the year book, I cannot recall the ones who did this to me, perhaps all for the better. The bullying escalated into a daily ordeal, usually with beatings a few time a week too. One rationale from one;
"You got me in detention yesterday (from getting caught bothering me),
and since that was YOUR fault, I'm entitled to to beat you up for that"
Other times I get 'ambushed' from behind walking to the bus, but after they gave a few hits, they then run away.
Had no peace in some classes either, people would walk by and smack me while the teacher wasn't looking and the other students would say I started it. Many of the brothers also got their kicks by constantly making me an example for the others, a few of them were later convicted with 'playing with the kiddies' at an orphanage on thhe other side of the country, won't go into details, but it was international news then. Can likely look that up.
When a new High School opened nearby, my sister and I both PLEADED to be enrolled there, she never told me what happened at her school, but (also) now realizing that she was an Aspie, likely as crappy as my experience. But the students there just resumed the teasing that happened while in Grade School. This came to a sudden stop when a guy was trying to erase my attendance on the sign-in sheet at the library and shoved him aside to rewrite, resulting in getting 2 punches to my face, breaking my glasses and having the stump from the arm cutting my forehead, requiring a couple sttiches. A couple of 'witnesses' provided testimony so ridiculous and was promptly dismissed and my assailant was suspended for a few days just before spring break. After this, looks like everybody 'grew up' and the teasing abruptly ceased. With the residual Psychology I've amassed, the damage has already been done.
As a result of this, I didn't get very good marks, which after my father read, he would bawl me out &/or beat me for them. During this time, my sister was having major health problems, and I was expected to keep quiet about this. My mother being an advanced alcoholic at this point didn't help things.
After finishing Grade 12, falling a credit short of Graduation, my father pushed me into college, did well on some courses (of which I took my marks back to High School and then got a Diploma a few years later) but having such a bad taste in my mouth from regular school, I gave up after only a year. That might have been a good thing, if I kept to my studies (Geology), I would have finished just in time for a Recession to hit, leaving little demand for my training for several years.
Kept this short and decided not to name people or events but left a 'clue' for a later atrocity.
Next, my pre-diagnosis Adult life.
Kozmo 1409011201
Scribblings of a late-blooming GenerPunk with Asperger's, a Spiritual Awakening turning me into an Irreligious Mystic
I explore All Ways to find the Tao - Omni-Universalism
PREAMBLE: I'm an Eccentic Late-Bloomin' Self-Realized & Actualized TRANS-Asperger's type PERSONALITY. At Best, I posess SNAFU Reasoning conjoined with FUBAR Logic with a "Complicatedly Complimenting Complex" riding Shotgun while Back-Seat Driving Bilocatedly which is (generally) INVERTED cognition compared to AnyThing else that's regarded compos mentis. I'm apt to be rather Digressive so any scribbling left here is subject to Constant Change [OXY!]. Articles will be 'tweaked & twiddled' routinely until I figure out my rules.
I (attempt to) employ Wayist Principles, here's a Creed:
To penetrate the mysteries, to bless with a good conscience, to be great and yet empty, to return to stillness and be forgiving, to be compassionate and to deliver all people, to do good deeds and help people reach the other shore these are the great benefits of our path of cultivation.
To calm people in stormy times, to help them understand the nature of things, to maintain purity, to nourish all things, to respect all life, and to answer the needs of those whose beliefs come from the heart.
These are the services Wayism can offer.
St. Siphor 3d Century CE
Our Five Principles of Faith however goes a long way to defining Wayism but it is not exhaustive since there are many culturally sensitive expressions of our Way. You will find that every expression of Wayism incorporates at least 99% of the Five Principles of Faith. Five Principles of Wayism
1. We believe in One Power, One Source, One Ultimate, One God (or Grand Design). There is only one Force underlying all of creation seen or unseen, matter, or anti-matter, in all universes. This One Force is the Architect, the Source, and the Essence of all. This One Ultimate Power is God, which is thus essentially Omnipresent, Omnipotent, Omniscient (& Omnibenevolent). Within God resides the ultimate Yin and Yang, which is the Personality of all Energy.
2. We believe in the Potential Divinity of Humankind. We are spiritual beings created in the image and likeness of God. As children of God we are endowed with creative ability. As children, we are evolving into maturity through the process of theosis. Theosis is the purpose of life for humans—to evolve into being like Christ. Each time we take on a human birth our potential creates a human body and a soul (mind), to serve us during that cycle. It is our explicit responsibility to care for our souls and bodies as a craftsperson cares for her tools. Without proper care, we cannot craft this life to serve us toward theosis. A wasted life is one in which we did not grow into our full potential, and maybe the most severe sin of all. In Jesus the Saviour, whose teaching we follow, we have a perfected Brother at one with the Energies of God our Mother and Father.
3. We believe in finding the knowledge of Good and Evil. One of our purposes in life is to gain the True knowledge of good and evil. In reality evil is anything that leads contrary to theosis and good is everything that leads to theosis. However, humankind's limited rational ability often defines evil according to human likes, dislikes, and current societal vogue. Humans fear pain, death and suffering, and often define these, and everything we do not understand, as evil. To gain the True knowledge of Good and Bad we need to gain the wisdom of it to see it from God's viewpoint. We create by our thinking, and we should learn to create good rather than evil. Sin is any wilful action or thought that, as an arrow shot from a bow, aims to miss the target which is theosis.
4. We believe in the Laws of Nature. By the Grace of God the universes are endowed with natural laws and forces which govern our family's co-habitation in creation. These laws of nature assist stellar systems and molecules to vibrate and move according to their purpose; and help to keep humanity on its path of theosis. We take special cognisance of the following Laws:
• The law of Karma returns to us whatever thoughts, actions and inactions we project into the universes to afford us the luxury to experience first-hand that which we give unto others—and learn from it at some stage.
• The law of Dharma helps us to never forget what our duty and task is for this lifetime. The ‘word of God is written in our souls,” as Scripture says. The law of gravity attracts things to large masses to keep them grounded, similarly within the principles of the law of Dharma are teachers and Light Bearers such as The Saviour brought to our level of cognisance when we are ready for their teaching.
• As the laws of cohesion, adhesion, and diffusion cause some things to be attracted to one another and other things to be kept at a distance—whatever we may do to work against the Laws of nature, in the end, even be it in pain and seeming catastrophe, we will be helped back on the theosis track by the Laws of the universe.
• Metanoia is the most powerful gift God put into our hands. We have ‘free will' because of metanoia. Metanoia is the power to reprogram our souls (minds) to think differently and therefore to create differently. Whatever we think (will), consciously or subconsciously--we create. Unlike microchips and lower animal minds, we have the gift of re-programmability. We have to consciously work to program our souls to will (and create) better circumstances; healing rather than disease, happiness rather than sadness, ecstasy rather than dull existence, and growth rather than decadence. Prayer does not change Good but changes our souls; meditation gives the soul quality time with God's Energies and our angels; contemplation allows the soul to search beyond this realm for answers and guidance in the Source of all knowledge—these vehicles we use to facilitate metanoia. If we will not programme ourselves, the prevailing group-mind will think for us.
5. We believe in Love. Love is a state of being, a condition of soul, and it is an action. Love is thus both a noun and a verb. There is no love present if it is not evident in one's actions and thoughts. Because love is a state of soul, it colours our thoughts and necessarily creates love around us. Only in practicing love do we learn about ourselves and we evolve as human beings. Only in practising love and being in love do we gain wisdom which transcends knowledge—the wisdom of mysticism. Love, therefore, is the higher form of knowledge, the gateway to Wisdom. The Truth can be known by this only, and the Truth shall set us free.
I (attempt to) employ Wayist Principles, here's a Creed:
To penetrate the mysteries, to bless with a good conscience, to be great and yet empty, to return to stillness and be forgiving, to be compassionate and to deliver all people, to do good deeds and help people reach the other shore these are the great benefits of our path of cultivation.
To calm people in stormy times, to help them understand the nature of things, to maintain purity, to nourish all things, to respect all life, and to answer the needs of those whose beliefs come from the heart.
These are the services Wayism can offer.
St. Siphor 3d Century CE
Our Five Principles of Faith however goes a long way to defining Wayism but it is not exhaustive since there are many culturally sensitive expressions of our Way. You will find that every expression of Wayism incorporates at least 99% of the Five Principles of Faith. Five Principles of Wayism
1. We believe in One Power, One Source, One Ultimate, One God (or Grand Design). There is only one Force underlying all of creation seen or unseen, matter, or anti-matter, in all universes. This One Force is the Architect, the Source, and the Essence of all. This One Ultimate Power is God, which is thus essentially Omnipresent, Omnipotent, Omniscient (& Omnibenevolent). Within God resides the ultimate Yin and Yang, which is the Personality of all Energy.
2. We believe in the Potential Divinity of Humankind. We are spiritual beings created in the image and likeness of God. As children of God we are endowed with creative ability. As children, we are evolving into maturity through the process of theosis. Theosis is the purpose of life for humans—to evolve into being like Christ. Each time we take on a human birth our potential creates a human body and a soul (mind), to serve us during that cycle. It is our explicit responsibility to care for our souls and bodies as a craftsperson cares for her tools. Without proper care, we cannot craft this life to serve us toward theosis. A wasted life is one in which we did not grow into our full potential, and maybe the most severe sin of all. In Jesus the Saviour, whose teaching we follow, we have a perfected Brother at one with the Energies of God our Mother and Father.
3. We believe in finding the knowledge of Good and Evil. One of our purposes in life is to gain the True knowledge of good and evil. In reality evil is anything that leads contrary to theosis and good is everything that leads to theosis. However, humankind's limited rational ability often defines evil according to human likes, dislikes, and current societal vogue. Humans fear pain, death and suffering, and often define these, and everything we do not understand, as evil. To gain the True knowledge of Good and Bad we need to gain the wisdom of it to see it from God's viewpoint. We create by our thinking, and we should learn to create good rather than evil. Sin is any wilful action or thought that, as an arrow shot from a bow, aims to miss the target which is theosis.
4. We believe in the Laws of Nature. By the Grace of God the universes are endowed with natural laws and forces which govern our family's co-habitation in creation. These laws of nature assist stellar systems and molecules to vibrate and move according to their purpose; and help to keep humanity on its path of theosis. We take special cognisance of the following Laws:
• The law of Karma returns to us whatever thoughts, actions and inactions we project into the universes to afford us the luxury to experience first-hand that which we give unto others—and learn from it at some stage.
• The law of Dharma helps us to never forget what our duty and task is for this lifetime. The ‘word of God is written in our souls,” as Scripture says. The law of gravity attracts things to large masses to keep them grounded, similarly within the principles of the law of Dharma are teachers and Light Bearers such as The Saviour brought to our level of cognisance when we are ready for their teaching.
• As the laws of cohesion, adhesion, and diffusion cause some things to be attracted to one another and other things to be kept at a distance—whatever we may do to work against the Laws of nature, in the end, even be it in pain and seeming catastrophe, we will be helped back on the theosis track by the Laws of the universe.
• Metanoia is the most powerful gift God put into our hands. We have ‘free will' because of metanoia. Metanoia is the power to reprogram our souls (minds) to think differently and therefore to create differently. Whatever we think (will), consciously or subconsciously--we create. Unlike microchips and lower animal minds, we have the gift of re-programmability. We have to consciously work to program our souls to will (and create) better circumstances; healing rather than disease, happiness rather than sadness, ecstasy rather than dull existence, and growth rather than decadence. Prayer does not change Good but changes our souls; meditation gives the soul quality time with God's Energies and our angels; contemplation allows the soul to search beyond this realm for answers and guidance in the Source of all knowledge—these vehicles we use to facilitate metanoia. If we will not programme ourselves, the prevailing group-mind will think for us.
5. We believe in Love. Love is a state of being, a condition of soul, and it is an action. Love is thus both a noun and a verb. There is no love present if it is not evident in one's actions and thoughts. Because love is a state of soul, it colours our thoughts and necessarily creates love around us. Only in practicing love do we learn about ourselves and we evolve as human beings. Only in practising love and being in love do we gain wisdom which transcends knowledge—the wisdom of mysticism. Love, therefore, is the higher form of knowledge, the gateway to Wisdom. The Truth can be known by this only, and the Truth shall set us free.
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